It's like God shit irony all over that family
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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