My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
