Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
