you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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