who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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