this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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