They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
