just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
my poor anus
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
