I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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