So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
