her vagina looked like bernie madoff
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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