Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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