dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
