So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
