She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
