the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
