I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
