I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
