I skipped work to stalk him.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We need to get me chipped asap
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
