wrigley field is MILF paradise
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
