girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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