It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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