What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
