Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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