never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
