I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
