Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
