Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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