so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
