): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
