I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
