It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
