I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
