Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize