Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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