Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You left your phone here
Wait...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
