He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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