Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
