No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
