You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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