I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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