I love black thongs
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
