what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
