She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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