Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
