do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
