I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
