Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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