she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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