make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
