She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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