He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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