you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
