I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
