but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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