would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
