friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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