Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You are a booty call, not a friend.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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