this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
