I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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