New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
