im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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